{"id":2114,"date":"2021-11-01T08:20:33","date_gmt":"2021-11-01T08:20:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/heshimardc.net\/v1\/?p=2114"},"modified":"2021-11-01T08:20:36","modified_gmt":"2021-11-01T08:20:36","slug":"psychologie-couple-les-raisons-de-separation-les-plus-frequentes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heshimardc.net\/v1\/2021\/11\/01\/psychologie-couple-les-raisons-de-separation-les-plus-frequentes\/","title":{"rendered":"PSYCHOLOGIE: Couple, Les raisons de s\u00e9paration les plus fr\u00e9quentes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Elle ne supporte plus sa pr\u00e9sence mais elle reste avec lui. Il n\u2019en peut plus de ses reproches mais il ne la quitte pas. \u00c0 l\u2019heure o\u00f9 un couple sur deux se s\u00e9pare, o\u00f9 la dur\u00e9e moyenne des unions est de quelques dizaines d\u2019ann\u00e9es, il n\u2019existe aucune statistique pour t\u00e9moigner de la r\u00e9alit\u00e9 de \u00ab ceux qui restent \u00bb quand tout semble les pousser \u00e0 se d\u00e9sengager.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c0 l\u2019heure de la rupture express et du divorce par consentement mutuel, on connait tous des amis \u00e0 propos desquels on se demande : \u00ab Mais pourquoi reste-t-il [elle] ? \u00bb Usure, ennui, m\u00e9sentente, certains supportent ces situations pendant des ann\u00e9es avant de se d\u00e9cider \u00e0 plier bagage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Des b\u00e9n\u00e9fices invisibles<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Le couple est aujourd\u2019hui surinvesti, affirment certains m\u00e9decins sexologues, th\u00e9rapeutes de couple. D\u00e8s qu\u2019il n\u2019est plus parfait, certains rompent leur union pour en cr\u00e9er une autre qu\u2019ils esp\u00e8rent plus satisfaisante. D\u2019autres s\u2019accrochent \u00e0 celui qu\u2019ils ont form\u00e9.<\/a> Leur satisfaction personnelle passe au second plan compar\u00e9e \u00e0 l\u2019id\u00e9al de couple qu\u2019ils ont construit. Une s\u00e9paration \u00e9branlerait le narcissisme investi dans la relation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Plus le duo affiche d\u2019ann\u00e9es de vie commune, plus \u00ab l\u2019enveloppe couple \u00bb est difficile \u00e0 briser. Une situation qui s\u2019explique souvent par des ressorts moins apparents. Un couple arrive au bout de son cycle de vie pour de multiples raisons. <\/a>L\u2019un a \u00e9volu\u00e9, l\u2019autre pas. Les ressentiments se sont accumul\u00e9s, g\u00e9n\u00e9rant un passif devenu sup\u00e9rieur au plaisir d\u2019\u00eatre ensemble. Il est possible que l\u2019un ait eu besoin de s\u2019appuyer sur l\u2019autre pour grandir, mais qu\u2019une fois plus mature il voit son partenaire autrement et ne souhaite plus vivre avec lui.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lien d\u2019amour, lien de haine<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parfois, le couple se trouve dans une confusion des sentiments qui le pousse \u00e0 attribuer \u00e0 l\u2019union la cause d\u2019un malaise purement personnel. L\u2019on avance que non seulement la rupture ne r\u00e8gle rien, mais elle peut conduire \u00e0 la d\u00e9pression et au regret, une situation qu\u2019on voit fr\u00e9quemment. Mieux vaut prendre le temps de se demander : \u201cEt si c\u2019\u00e9tait moi qui allais mal ?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

D\u2019aucuns relatent ce curieux dialogue qui a eu lieu dans son cabinet. La femme : \u00ab Tu n\u2019es qu\u2019une merde, je te hais, esp\u00e8ce de salopard ! \u00bb Et l\u2019homme de r\u00e9pondre : \u00ab Moi aussi, tu sais que je t\u2019aime. \u00bb Cet \u00e9change, digne d\u2019une chanson de Gainsbourg, en dit long sur un cas d\u2019union de vingt-deux ans. L\u2019autre devient le mauvais objet, le d\u00e9positaire de l\u2019agressivit\u00e9, d\u00e9cortique le psychanalyste. Le lien d\u2019amour se confond avec le lien de haine, et il est d\u2019une solidit\u00e9 redoutable. Enferm\u00e9 dans son microcosme, le couple n\u2019arrive pas \u00e0 envisager une issue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pour aller plus loin<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Contrairement aux femmes, ils n\u2019ont presque jamais le courage d\u2019affronter la fin d\u2019une relation. Ou alors, ils le font tr\u00e8s brutalement. Est-ce \u00e0 cause de leur m\u00e8re ? (…). Quand l\u2019inconscient m\u00e8ne le bal, les raisons objectives de se s\u00e9parer n\u2019ont d\u2019influence sur personne. Certaines dames qui ont v\u00e9cu dix ann\u00e9es d\u2019un couple infernal, soulignent l\u2019influence des m\u00e8res : \u00ab J\u2019avais un tel besoin de me faire reconna\u00eetre par elle. Envisager le divorce, c\u2019\u00e9tait prendre le risque de lui d\u00e9plaire, elle qui r\u00e9p\u00e9tait : \u201cOn ne d\u00e9fait pas ce que Dieu a uni\u201d, ayant elle-m\u00eame subi beaucoup d\u2019humiliations. J\u2019ai v\u00e9cu avec l\u2019impression d\u2019un d\u00e9doublement de la personnalit\u00e9 entre mes positions f\u00e9ministes et ce que je subissais. Une force au-dessus de moi me clouait dans cette situation, et seule une th\u00e9rapie m\u2019a permis de m\u2019en sortir. \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Prenons le cas extr\u00eame de la femme qui reste avec un compagnon violent : \u00ab Certaines ne reconnaissent l\u2019amour qu\u2019\u00e0 la morsure de la douleur, analysait-on. Elles ont besoin de vivre dans le drame pour se sentir exister. Leur m\u00e8re et leur grand-m\u00e8re leur ont transmis ce message implicite : \u201cL\u2019amour fait mal\u201d, et elles y souscrivent inconsciemment. \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Certains couples sont alors condamn\u00e9s \u00e0 vivre ensemble puisqu\u2019ils y trouvent leur compte sur le plan n\u00e9vrotique. Jusqu\u2019\u00e0 ce qu\u2019un \u00e9v\u00e9nement, une phrase, le regard d\u2019un tiers, une rencontre viennent bousculer le sc\u00e9nario : \u00ab Une \u00e9tincelle fait tilt dans l\u2019inconscient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 C\u2019est comme une d\u00e9flagration qui permet de remanier autrement l\u2019organisation psychique. Souvent, le d\u00e9clic n\u2019a pas lieu sur un terrain vierge, la rupture se pr\u00e9parait depuis des mois, voire des ann\u00e9es, inconsciemment, quand, soudain, la pulsion de vie l\u2019emporte sur l\u2019instinct de conservation qui poussait \u00e0 l\u2019immobilisme. Ce qui paraissait sur humain devient limpide, il faut partir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Raymond Befonda<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lorsque la vie \u00e0 deux tourne \u00e0 l\u2019orage ou au calme trop plat, se s\u00e9parer est devenu banal. Pourtant, certains tardent \u00e0 quitter le navire. Comment savoir que la relation n\u2019a plus d\u2019avenir et qu\u2019il est temps de partir ?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2127,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[175],"tags":[209],"class_list":["post-2114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-societe","tag-psychologie"],"yoast_head":"\nPSYCHOLOGIE: Couple, Les raisons de s\u00e9paration les plus fr\u00e9quentes - HESHIMA MAGAZINE<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u00c0 l\u2019heure de la rupture express et du divorce par consentement mutuel, on connait tous des amis \u00e0 propos desquels on se demande : \u00ab Mais pourquoi reste-t-il [elle] ? \u00bb Usure, ennui, m\u00e9sentente, certains supportent ces situations pendant des ann\u00e9es avant de se d\u00e9cider \u00e0 plier bagage.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/heshimardc.net\/v1\/2021\/11\/01\/psychologie-couple-les-raisons-de-separation-les-plus-frequentes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"PSYCHOLOGIE: Couple, Les raisons de s\u00e9paration les plus fr\u00e9quentes - HESHIMA MAGAZINE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00c0 l\u2019heure de la rupture express et du divorce par consentement mutuel, on connait tous des amis \u00e0 propos desquels on se demande : \u00ab Mais pourquoi reste-t-il [elle] ? 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